hover mother, hover round

9 Jul

Yesterday a new session of Safety Town started with a whole new group of kids. Many of these parents are nervous to send their kids away for the first time causing them to ask questions like: “What do parents normally do while their kids are at Safety Town?” (Well, gee I don’t know, you have 2.5 hours, do whatever you want).

One mother hit new extremes of “hover mother,” a word I thought my older sister who’s a teacher coined…but urban dictionary knows about it, so maybe not.

She sat next to her child for 15 minutes asking him if he was going to be okay, and then told him she would just wait out in the hallway for a few minutes to make sure he was. When she saw her child happily playing with legos, she re-entered the gym 3 separate times over 15 minutes to ask him if he was doing okay without her and reminding him she was out in the hall, or to deliver messages to me such as: “He likes to pee a lot.” Well, okay.

When I thought she had finally left…turns out she didn’t. She didn’t ask me when we were going to play outside…so I assume she was sitting in her car waiting for us to go out (which was 1.5 hours later) My director saw this mom hiding behind bushes and the fence around the playground to watch her child play.

At pick up she said to her child: I saw you playing outside. Even he seemed to be startled by this and responded: “Hey, you shouldn’t have been able to see me!”

My co-worker reminded me the police were coming to talk at Safety Town the next day in case I needed to report her or anything.

Scene 2: I’m crossing the street in front of my apartment to get in the car with Nick, Trisha, and Patrick for our volleyball game. An old man just tips right over the curb and falls face first into the street, with a car braking to not run over his head. Startled I ask him if he’s okay while he just lays there for about 10 seconds not responding. Everyone looked on with jaws dropped, I think my jaw was dropped, too.

He finally rolls over so I ask him if he wants help up, it takes all of my strength to pull him up off the ground. I give him his bag and he says he’s fine so I go get in the car.

He moseys up to the car and says: “You can’t tell me that happened because I’m old (chuckling).” Nick: “Oh no, you just tripped, it was the curb.” Man: “Well yeah, I think I missed it because I was watching you guys.” (I now recall that they had been honking the horn and yelling things out at me, whoops) Man: “I thought if I just laid down there for a couple extra seconds it would be more dramatic (chuckling).”

Sir, you nearly gave me a heart attack for your health, and Trisha one for your Tbell (it’s what was in the bag).

We drove away down University where we passed an old man waiting at a red light in a turn lane in an electric powered wheelchair (this is where the hover round comes in). Ummmm…maybe he thinks he’s a car, we pondered? Hopefully that turned out all right for him.

Hahaha.

3 Responses to “hover mother, hover round”

  1. Teresa July 9, 2008 at 8:11 pm #

    you just laughed at the thought of an old man getting hit by cars.you’re a cruel, cruel woman.

  2. ky July 10, 2008 at 1:07 am #

    You need to just start telling lies to hover mother. Tell her you’ll be out at some far away beach.The old dude reminds me of this news article I just read about a dude who faked heart attacks for free meals and cab rides in Milwaukee. Look it up.

  3. Anonymous July 12, 2008 at 10:53 am #

    i like to pee a lot

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